A Strange Wild Song by Lewis Carroll (In public domain) (Last ten verses by Michael Charters)

He thought he saw an Elephant That practised on a fife: He looked again, and found it was A letter from his wife. "At length I realize," he said, "The bitterness of life!"

He thought he saw a Buffalo Upon the chimney-piece: He looked again, and found it was His Sister's Husband's Niece. "Unless you leave this house," he said, "I'll send for the police!"

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake That questioned him in Greek: He looked again, and found it was The Middle of Next Week. "The one thing I regret," he said, "Is that it cannot speak!"

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk Descending from the bus: He looked again, and found it was A Hippopotamus. "If this should stay to dine," he said, "There won't be much for us!"

He thought he saw a Kangaroo That worked a Coffee-mill: He looked again, and found it was A Vegetable-Pill. "Were I to swallow this," he said, "I should be very ill!"

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four That stood beside his bed: He looked again, and found it was A Bear without a Head. "Poor thing," he said, "poor silly thing!" “It's waiting to be fed!"

He thought he saw a Tall Oak Tree That rustled in a Breeze: He looked again and found it was A Badger on its knees. “Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!” he said, "I really must not sneeze."

He thought he saw a Pamplemousse Cut all in wedges fine: He looked again and found it was A Haddock soaked in wine. Eight eyes peered in the window then, Or possibly nine.

He thought he saw a Bumblebee With stripes all down its back: He looked again and found it was A Pie upon a Rack. "I wish with all my heart," he said, "My toenails were not black."

He thought he saw a Barbershop Filled all with Men in Tweed: He looked again and found it was A veritable Weed. "But tales and gloomy songs," he said, "I do not think I need."

He thought he saw a Thunderstorm That raged all Day and Night: He looked again and found it was The Moon's soft lustrous light. “Oh my!” he said, “with tears of joy, "It's such a splendid sight.”

He thought he saw a Hummingbird With wings of beaten gold: He looked again and found it was A Bathtub full of mold. “Come join me on the porch,” he said, “It’s not so very cold.”

He thought he saw a Lumberjack Who wore a white felt hat: He looked again and found it was A metal Cricket Bat. “Oh pooh,” he said, without a pause, “I would have liked to chat.”

He thought a saw a Harpsichord With tones so pure and sweet: He looked again and found it was A dusty kitchen seat. He rubbed his head in mild surprise. “That’s very hard to beat.”

He thought he saw a Waterfall With sparkling Diamond spray: He looked again and found it was Another sunny day. "Perhaps I'll take a walk," he said, "Or maybe I'll just play."

He wakened then in Morning Light And called for Tea and Toast: But what he found before him Was an admirable Roast. “By George,” he said, “this really is Just what I wanted most.”

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