The Primate Nooz
A Primatological Satire
(Netscape Version)

  "Charges Against R. Bennett Teasdale Corp. Dropped!" "Townspeople Terrified as Nooz Building Collapses!" "Hellmouth Zoo Director Fired by Mayor Pruner!" In the Planning Stages  
  "Fabled Lost City of the Cercopithecines Found!" "Accidental Freezing of Win Wing Wan Shocks City!" "Giant Monkey Sighted North of Nepal!" Only Dimly Visualized on the Far Horizon  
  "Spirit of Measely Takes Control of Spotlight!" "Nooz Scandal Rocks Hellmouth!" "Santa Rubia Island Sinks!"
  "UFO Crashes in Gabon, Contains Primate Zoo!" "Readers Overwhelmingly Reject New Nooz Format!" "Primate Nooz to Close After Ninety-Three Years!"
  "I Died and Went to Monkey Hell!" "Ohhohoho Found!" "Primate Nooz Purchased by Takeshitahara Corporation!"
  "Missing Bluetails Found in Bermuda Triangle!" "Strange Primate Face Discovered on Mars!" "Publisher Arnett Putney, III Shoots Executive Editor Widen Lundale, Jr in Secret Duel!"
  "Hellmouth Mayor Dies of Gobo Root Poisoning!" "President Congratulates Primate Nooz on Award!" "Fleiglehaus Abducted by Zarkonese Aliens!"
  "Ant-Strewn Amazon Claims Life of Mitsuo Ohhohoho!" "Desert Galagos Go on Rampage in Jujube!" "Cloned Win Wing Wan Returns to Primate Nooz!"
  "Ancient Scroll Tells Story of Primate Past!" "Russian Probe Finds Rainforests on Venus!" Now in Production





"Nose-Picking in the Pongidae and Its Implication for Human Evolution"

"Burrowing Behavior of Wild Bluetail Guenons at the Makokou Study Area, Gabon"

"Comparative Plummeting Rates in Ten Species of Old and New World Lesser Primates"

"Zoological Bromides: Right or Wrong?"

"Prosaic Cliches and Banal Shibboleths: A Zoological Inquiry"
(In progress)

Publisher Arnett Putney, III and
Executive Editor Widen Lundale, Jr.

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