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Many of you have wondered, as I have
wondered, as indeed we all have wondered, just what is this thing called
seniority? Is it a thick blanket that settles over us like the night?
Or is it a bright light that shines into every nook and cranny of
our lives? Do other countries have seniority? Will seniority
still be around in the future, when tax-free edible bonds have lost their
appeal? The ans- wers to these questions may be found by going to
our website at www.webnooz/questions,
but remember, no peeking before you honestly try to answer them yourself.
We ask these questions because we think they are important. We
think they are crying out to be answered. So if you have any good
answers, please let us know.
We here at the New Nooz do
not personally know what seniority is, but we do know that it appeared
in the early months of mankind's history, along with fire and most of
the alphabet. We think that seniority may have crossed the Bering
Straits land bridge oh so many months ago. We theorize that seniority
is linked in some way to the discoveries about the Maya made by Sir Horton
Measely in the Yucatan. We postulate that it was seniority to which
Galileo Galilei was referring when he declared, “Oh, but one
piles high upon another. And there is always another, higher.” And
we believe that seniority, like gravity, plays a role in our lives today
that we are scarcely aware of.
Before his untimely death, which was
caused by his hydrogen laser spotlight swinging around without warning
and burning him severely, Professor Measely intended to undertake a long-term
project to determine the nature of seniority. He had plans to focus
the hot beams of the spotlight on the subject, but now that he has been
gone these many months, that job of illuminating seniority for our many
readers around the world, has fallen to his son and the current owner
of the hydrogen laser spotlight Bill Measely, and he has so far appeared
disinclined to follow up on this project.of his father's. We here at the
New Nooz are trying to change his mind, but you all know how he can be.
In the meantime, we feel that free
clinics should be set up around the country to deal with this problem.
Public education is the only solution that will work for the long
term. Once we all know what seniority is, we can better adjust our
lives to it, cease our pointless struggles against it, and enjoy life
the way that great Primate in the sky intended us to.
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