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ANNOUNCEMENTS
Primate Nooz takes great pleasure in announcing its selection
as one of the finalists in the competition for the prestigious Scopes
Primatology Prize, given each year to that publication which has
excelled in informing the public about primate issues and contributed
in a major way to habitat conservation. The other finalists
are The British Royal Museum Journal of the Cercopithecinae,
Tasmania Nature Weekly, and The Borneo Bulletin.
The prize is awarded by the Foundation for the Preservation of Primates
and Other Quadrupeds, and the final selection will take place later
this spring at the annual conference of the Singapore Simian Society
to be held as it is every year in Singapore.
The Nooz would also like to take this opportunity to state
that its senior editorial staff has not by any means lost confidence
in the ability of West Coast Correspon-dent Mr. Christopher Shaw,
just because his new format idea was a total and unmitigated disaster.
Publisher Arnett Putney, III and executive editor Widen Lundale,
Jr. are eagerly looking forward to working closely with him in the
not very distant future.
Finally, the Nooz wishes to clarify its position with regard
to the advertisement placed by Field Reporter Eric Scotmeister Fleiglehaus.
It is not true that our automotive department has verified
the roadworthiness of the vehicle he is attempting to unload, and
we suspect that it has a few problems.
RECOMMENDED READING:
Professor Ambato Ambilobe (1986). “Cursorial Adaptations
in the Really Slow Loris.” Proceedings of the Malagasy
Extinct Lemur Society, 18:120-196. *****
Mawbanna Waddamana and Basil Smith (1987). “Relative
Paucity of Platyrrhine Primates on Tasmania as Revealed by the 36" Telescope at the Chudleigh-Lilydale
Royal Tasmanian Primatological Observatory at Mole Creek.” Australian Natural Science Magazine,
51:78-90. *****
Senhor Teófilo Afonso Rosario Sobradinho (1990). The
Day We Lost Mitsuo Ohhohoho. Jesus da Lapa Bros. Press,
Belo Horizonte, Brazil. *****
Eric Scotmeister Fleiglehaus (1989). “The Madcap
Misadventures of a Field Reporter for the Primate Nooz.” Automotive Primatology Monthly, 1:1-19. *****
Christopher Shaw (1989). “Coming Up with a New
Format for Primate Nooz Was a Tricky Business.” Reader's
Digest, 910:52-59. *1/2
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ADVERTS
Used car for sale. Has held up surprisingly
intact despite rigorous trips to Gabon, Borneo, Tasmania,
Bali-Bali, the Amazon and Madagascar. Everything has
been replaced at least once, most things several times. The
Nooz's automotive department has checked it over and
vouches for its reliability. Many good miles and lots
of field trips left in it. Contact E. Fleiglehaus, c/o
Primate Nooz, Hellmouth, AZ. I really need to
sell it, so call soon.
Would you like a fifth limb? Sound crazy?
Do you envy those New World types with their fancy-dancy prehensile
tails? Now you too can have a prehensile tail with our
new Tail Helper, the battery-operated mechanical prosthesis
that attaches directly and almost painlessly to your own tail.
In just a couple of short weeks you'll be hanging by
your tail, freeing up your hands and feet for more important
things. See a free demo at Hellmouth Small Appliance
Repair. Also available with special waist harness straps for
apes. Call today, or tomorrow.
Habitat cluttered with trees? Choked with nasty toxic
vines? Crisscrossed with creeks? Swamped with
swamps? I'll come out and design a habitat for any species,
and I don't care if I have to use concrete trees to do it.
You won't either. The main thing is that your
habitat will be a lot easier to clean. Rates by the
hectare. Nick's Habitat Design, 3rd Ave. and Pine St.,
Hellmouth.
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EVERYONE INVITED!!!!!!!!!!!
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Saturday and Sunday, 9am-5pm, Hellmouth Fair
Grounds. 12th Annual Southwest Arizona Gorogo Bean Festival.
Monkey Toss. Bobbing for Durians. Plummeting for
Prizes. Monkey See Monkey Do. Hot Dog and Gobo Root Stand.
Primate Portraits. Rice Carving. Neonates Care Center.
Shoot the Potato Bug. Jujube Dancing. Oilberry
Beer and Hot Madagascar Toddies. Sink the Simian. Guess
where Mitsuo Ohhohoho is. Free Leaves from Lou's. Much much
more. Come on down and bring the wife and kids. Plan to
spend all weekend. It's going to be great! |
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Produced as a public
service by the friendly folks down at the Ralph
A. Bennett Teasdale Corp., with funding provided
by Georgia Pacific Gabon, Vern's Video Village,
the Vancouver Vertical Clinging and Leaping Society,
Pinkie's QuickShop, the Bluetail Foundation, the
Badongo-Gazimbi Tourist Board, the Hellmouth Monkey
Museum, the Committee To Run The Nooz Out
of Town, the Toxic Leaf Waste Disposal Dump, Al's
Pharmaceuticals, the Tasmania Nature Weekly, the
Really Slow Loris Marathon Advisory Commission,
KNUZ-FM, Win Wang Win's Chinese Chicken House and
Laundry, and the Antlered Animals Lodge Hall. |
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© M. Charters, 1990, Sierra Madre,
CA.
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SPOTLIGHT Cont. from page 3.
As far as most
people are concerned, Badongo-Gazimbi begins and ends with a single
commercial product, the gorogo bean. This lowly legume has
fueled the economy of the country for generations, providing sustenance
for a tired population and much needed foreign exchange. But
there is a lot more to Badongo-Gazimbi, from the old, decaying Dutch
capital of Adudu in the north to muddy Lake Badongo in the south.
There is the silvertail grass moth, from which is made almost the
entire world's supply of moth-wing coats. There is the beautiful
and little-understood monkey dance which the natives apparently
engage in every year when the ground becomes parched and hot. And,
of course, there also is the occasional ancient scroll to be found,
such as the one discovered last year by Professor Miedzyrzecz von
Chechowice-Dziedzice....
Uh oh..... WATCH
OUT! IT'S SWINGING AROUND! TURN IT OFF! Whew,
that was a close call! I guess maybe the boys down at Small
Appliance Repair should take another look at it. Anyhow, next
time we'll try to light up another interesting place for you, but
for now this is Bill Measely. Ciao.
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