Page Four


Primate Nooz takes great pleasure in announcing its selection as one of the finalists in the competition for the prestigious Scopes Primatology Prize, given each year to that publication which has excelled in informing the public about primate issues and contributed in a major way to habitat conservation. The other finalists are The British Royal Museum Journal of the Cercopithecinae, Tasmania Nature Weekly, and The Borneo Bulletin.  The prize is awarded by the Foundation for the Preservation of Primates and Other Quadrupeds, and the final selection will take place later this spring at the annual conference of the Singapore Simian Society to be held as it is every year in Singapore.

The Nooz would also like to take this opportunity to state that its senior editorial staff has not by any means lost confidence in the ability of West Coast Correspon-dent Mr. Christopher Shaw, just because his new format idea was a total and unmitigated disaster.  Publisher Arnett Putney, III and executive editor Widen Lundale, Jr. are eagerly looking forward to working closely with him in the not very distant future.

Finally, the Nooz wishes to clarify its position with regard to the advertisement placed by Field Reporter Eric Scotmeister Fleiglehaus.  It is not true that our automotive department has verified the roadworthiness of the vehicle he is attempting to unload, and we suspect that it has a few problems.


Professor Ambato Ambilobe (1986). “Cursorial Adaptations in the Really Slow Loris.”  Proceedings of the Malagasy Extinct Lemur Society, 18:120-196.  *****

Mawbanna Waddamana and Basil Smith (1987).  “Relative Paucity of Platyrrhine Primates on Tasmania as Revealed by the 36" Telescope at the Chudleigh-Lilydale Royal Tasmanian Primatological Observatory at Mole Creek.” Australian Natural Science Magazine, 51:78-90.  *****

Senhor Teófilo Afonso Rosario Sobradinho  (1990). The Day We Lost Mitsuo Ohhohoho.  Jesus da Lapa Bros. Press,  Belo Horizonte,  Brazil.  *****

Eric Scotmeister Fleiglehaus  (1989). “The Madcap Misadventures of a Field Reporter for the Primate Nooz.” Automotive Primatology Monthly,  1:1-19. *****

Christopher Shaw  (1989). “Coming Up with a New Format for Primate Nooz Was a Tricky Business.” Reader's Digest, 910:52-59.  *1/2



Used car for sale.  Has held up surprisingly intact despite rigorous trips to Gabon, Borneo, Tasmania, Bali-Bali, the Amazon and Madagascar. Everything has been replaced at least once, most things several times.  The Nooz's automotive department has checked it over and vouches for its reliability.  Many good miles and lots of field trips left in it.  Contact E. Fleiglehaus, c/o Primate Nooz, Hellmouth, AZ.  I really need to sell it, so call soon.

Would you like a fifth limb?  Sound crazy?  Do you envy those New World types with their fancy-dancy prehensile tails?  Now you too can have a prehensile tail with our new Tail Helper, the battery-operated mechanical prosthesis that attaches directly and almost painlessly to your own tail.  In just a couple of short weeks you'll be hanging by your tail, freeing up your hands and feet for more important things. See a free demo at Hellmouth Small Appliance Repair. Also available with special waist harness straps for apes. Call today, or tomorrow.

Habitat cluttered with trees?  Choked with nasty toxic vines?  Crisscrossed with creeks?  Swamped with swamps? I'll come out and design a habitat for any species, and I don't care if I have to use concrete trees to do it.  You won't either. The main thing is that your habitat will be a lot easier to clean.  Rates by the hectare.  Nick's Habitat Design, 3rd Ave. and Pine St., Hellmouth.

Saturday and Sunday, 9am-5pm, Hellmouth Fair Grounds.  12th Annual Southwest Arizona Gorogo Bean Festival.  Monkey Toss.  Bobbing for Durians. Plummeting for Prizes.  Monkey See Monkey Do. Hot Dog and Gobo Root Stand. Primate Portraits. Rice Carving.  Neonates Care Center.  Shoot the Potato Bug.  Jujube Dancing. Oilberry Beer and Hot Madagascar Toddies.  Sink the Simian.  Guess where Mitsuo Ohhohoho is. Free Leaves from Lou's. Much much more.  Come on down and bring the wife and kids. Plan to spend all weekend. It's going to be great!
Produced as a public service by the friendly folks down at the Ralph A. Bennett Teasdale Corp., with  funding provided by Georgia Pacific Gabon, Vern's  Video Village, the Vancouver Vertical Clinging and  Leaping Society, Pinkie's QuickShop, the Bluetail Foundation, the Badongo-Gazimbi Tourist Board,  the Hellmouth Monkey Museum, the Committee To  Run The Nooz Out of Town, the Toxic Leaf Waste Disposal Dump, Al's Pharmaceuticals, the Tasmania  Nature Weekly, the Really Slow Loris Marathon  Advisory Commission, KNUZ-FM, Win Wang  Win's Chinese Chicken House and Laundry, and the Antlered Animals Lodge Hall.
© M. Charters, 1990, Sierra Madre, CA.

SPOTLIGHT Cont. from page 3.

        As far as most people are concerned, Badongo-Gazimbi begins and ends with a single commercial product, the gorogo bean.  This lowly legume has fueled the economy of the country for generations, providing sustenance for a tired population and much needed foreign exchange.  But there is a lot more to Badongo-Gazimbi, from the old, decaying Dutch capital of Adudu in the north to muddy Lake Badongo in the south. There is the silvertail grass moth, from which is made almost the entire world's supply of moth-wing coats.  There is the beautiful and little-understood monkey dance which the natives apparently engage in every year when the ground becomes parched and hot.  And, of course, there also is the occasional ancient scroll to be found, such as the one discovered last year by Professor Miedzyrzecz von Chechowice-Dziedzice....
        Uh oh..... WATCH OUT!  IT'S SWINGING AROUND!  TURN IT OFF!  Whew, that was a close call!  I guess maybe the boys down at Small Appliance Repair should take another look at it.  Anyhow, next time we'll try to light up another interesting place for you, but for now this is Bill Measely.  Ciao.

Page One
Page Two Page Three  Home Page Next Issue