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It is with deep sadness and regret that Primate Nooz announces the death by accidental cryogenic freezing of Mr. Win Wing Wan.  He was the author of numerous important scientific articles, a former Director of Beijing's Thousand Uplifting Sentiments Zoo, and the editor in charge of the 'Recommended Reading' section of the Nooz.  He was our friend and colleague, and he never sued us even once, unlike some other people we could mention.  The Nooz office will not be the same without him, and all of his many journalistic compatriots here join in mourning his passing.  In his honor we have assembled a special 'Recommended Reading' section, one that we know he would have been proud of.


Win Wing Wan  (1963).  “Toxic Vegetation and How To Know When You've Had Enough.”  Primate Week,  2:9-10.  *****

Win Wing Wan  (1988).  “The Lonely Life and Miserable Death of Wu Shi, the 3000-Year Old Gorilla.” PRIMATE LIFE,  16(12):8-28.  *****

Win Wing Wan  (1983).  “The Inscrutable Tarsier: Just What the Heck Is It?” Proceedings of the 9th International Congress of Primatology (London),  Vol. VIII, 285-460.  *****

Win Wing Wan  (1989).  “It's No Fun Having Chinaman's Elbow.”  West Malaysia Medical Bulletin,  22:19-23. *****

Christopher Shaw  (1989).  “Some Memorable Chinese Restaurants I Have Frequented with Win Wing Wan.” Reader's Digest,  908:32-40.  *

Nooz Calender

Public hearing on whether to declare the Hellmouth Zoo stinky galago breeding program a health hazard and general menace, Hellmouth City Hall, Friday, Nov. 24, 2-5pm.

Civil trial of Dr. Dick Doody, Chief Surgeon (Suspended), begins at the Hellmouth Hall of High Justice, Mon. Nov. 13, 9:30am.  Public welcome. No gum chewing please.

Great Apes and Lesser Primates Dinner to be held at Cheesequake Pizza Hut, Thursday, Nov.16 at 8pm.  We were going to have Mitsuo Ohhohoho as Chairman, but now that he is missing, the Nooz's own Dr. Homer Perry has been asked to fill in for him.  Sorry, Mitsuo, wherever you are.

The general public is invited to a premier showing of the movie "Lost Again" which was filmed at several locations in Hellmouth and Cheesequake.  It depicts the events surrounding the expedition of the two Icelandic explorers Leif Englenberg and Olaf Petersen into the dreaded Ipipwi Forest to search for the legendary Golden monkeys of Gabon.  The two Icelanders will be in attendance, and there will be popcorn and fried gobo roots for everyone and free raincoats for the first twenty-five people.


        There is absolutely no truth to the report published recently by PRIMATE LIFE that the Nooz will soon have a completely new look. Our Cheesequake rival totally misinterpreted a casual remark by one of our junior staff writers at last week's Horntoad Valley Newspapers Association meeting and was way off base when they announced our supposed new format.

        The search for the missing Professor Mitsuo Ohhohoho has shifted again, this time, after a brief stop at Dr. Watanabe Kibombo's Ipululu Primate Conservation Center, to the green and unruly forests of northern Bali-Bali.  A gasoline receipt with his name on it was found in Badongo-Gazimbi along with some documents relating to Bali-Bali.  Senhor Teófilo Afonso Rosario Sobradinho is leading the search team, and he has been joined by Eric Scotmeister Fleiglehaus.  Nooz West Coast correspondent Chris Shaw will join them soon.

Produced as a public service by the friendly folks  down at the Ralph A. Bennett Teasdale Corp.,  with funding provided by Georgia Pacific Gabon, the Matsushita Chopstick Co., Lou's House of  Leaves, the Bluetail Foundation, the Woodrow  Wilson Old World Monkey Center, the Hellmouth Primate Fossil and Paranormal Investigatory  Group, the Mole Creek Monitor, the Milk Board  of Jujube, and KNUZ-FM.
© M. Charters, 1989, Sierra Madre, CA.

Dear Editor,
        Who are you guys trying to kid?  This Win Wing Wang or Wan Wing Win guy writes this big hooptydoo article about tarsiers [Win Wing Wan, “What Is The Tarsier?” Primate Nooz, 88(7):3-4. -Ed.], all literate-like and sounding oh so academic.  Then he or someone else with the same ridiculous-sounding name writes a letter to Dr. Doody that tells me he had more than Chinaman's Elbow.  Whenever we used to eat together, I could hardly understand what he was saying.  How could he write all those articles?
Chris Shaw

Dear 'Chris,'
        We'll take your question under advisement and get back to you if we find out anything.

Dear Editor,
        Why are you always changing your address?  I've been trying to get back issues of Primate Nooz for years, but every time I send in my request, I get it back marked “Undeliverable,” and the next issue comes out with a new address.  I'm pretty steamed about it.  When are you going to do something?
Watanabe Kibombo

Dear 'Watanabe,'
        Don't take that tone with us!  What the hell kind of a name is Watanabe anyway? We don't like your greasy insinuations.  But if you are foolish enough to proceed with this matter, we suggest you write to: Nooz Complaint Department, c/o USSR Academy of Primatology, Minsk.

Dear Editor,
        I want to object to the censorship in your last issue. I can't believe that a major publication like yours in 1989


and I hope you'll do something about it.
Dr. Oondóué M. Boué

Dear 'Dr. Boué,'
        Thanks for writing.

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