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Primate Nooz would like to take this opportunity to disavow all knowledge of the person or persons who are continuing to use Chris Shaw's name without his permission. We thought we had solved the problem last issue by inviting him to take over the 'Recommended Reading' section in which previous spurious references to him had been made.  But now his name seems to be cropping up everywhere in the Nooz like an unkillable weed, and frankly we are stumped. We can only say, “Sorry, Mr. Shaw, but remember, especially when thinking about legal matters, that a sense of humor is very important in the scientific field.”


Dr. Oondóué M. Boué and Reginald Pennyworth Maudlin-Jones  (1987).  “Burrowing Behavior of Wild Bluetail Monkeys at the Makokou Study Area, Gabon.” Proceedings of the Gabon Nature Society,  277(3):47-60.  *****

Dr. Professor Miedzyrzecz von Czechowice-Dziedzice and Choszczno Koscierzyna  (1988). Eleven Famous Polish Primates of the Twentieth Century. Warsaw Natural History Association Press, Warsaw.  *****

Sir Newton Fig  (1962).  “Common Fruits of Southeast Asia and What To Do With Them.” Kalimantan Journal of Fruit, 32:50-61.  *****

Christopher Shaw  (1988).  “Trying To Decide Whether To Sue Primate Nooz Can Be A Tricky Business.” Reader's Digest, 891:78-84.  **


BANANA FUTURES IN JEOPARDY!!!  As the price of bananas surged upward, a meeting of the Omnibus Primate Economic Council (OPEC) was called to discuss the catarrhine market of last October and just what it might mean to the primate community.  Many Old World types are in a frenzy about a potential price increase's effect on the banana futures market.  These events, along with the recently-reported imitation leaf scandals and the fake fig fiasco, have brought howls of protest and not a few long calls for intervention from certain OPEC members such as the ministers from the macaques and mangabeys.  The representative of the colobines and langurs stated that, “Our very survival depends solely on such vegetation and we can't leaf this matter to chance.”
                                   --J. Thaxton Krunk

Market Quotations................................................

Western Fig (FIG)  +1  Ripe for takeover.
Greenleaf Co. (GLC)  -2  Weak due to falling prices and imitation leaf scandals.
Bluetail Enterprises (BLU)  +1  About to swing into new product areas.
Int'l Banana Merchants (IBM)  +3  Big Yellow does it again.
Int'l Tarsier Technologies (ITT)  +1 5/8 Large eyes on increased profits.
United Fruit (FRU)  -1 1/8  Not a good prospect due to unrest in Panama.
ROOTZ (ROO)  +5  Buy 'em while you can.

Produced as a public service by those friendly folks down at the Ralph A. Bennett Teasdale Corporation, with funding provided by Georgia  Pacific Gabon, the Matsushita Chopstick Co., the  Bluetail Foundation, the Warsaw Natural History  Association ZOD, the Malagasy Extinct Lemur  Society, the National Science Foundation, the Royal Canadian Air Force Experimental Primate  Test School, Travel and Primatology Magazine, Joe's Not So Bad Cafe, and the Cheesequake  Man and Mammal Museum.
 ©   M. Charters,  1988, Sierra Madre, CA.

Dear Editor,
      I have been trying for years to have Primate Nooz delivered to Costa Rica.  I noticed from the box that runs on the front page of every issue that the Nooz is air-dropped over much of Africa, Asia and South America, but there is never any mention of Central America or the Caribbean.  There are a lot of primates in this area who would love to read the Nooz, so how about it?  Do we all have to move to Surinam or Sinatra or somewhere?

Dear 'Noisy',
      You're probably a howler, right?  Since you obviously have no idea of the difficulties involved in our distribution system, it's no wonder that you would write us such a churlish and uncivil letter.  While it is true that we ship the Nooz to 19 countries in Africa, 10 in Asia and 8 in South America, Costa Rica is another matter.  We feel that the suggestion regarding your possible move to Surinam or Sinatra is a good one.  In the meantime, perhaps you could read our two sister publications Primate Week and PRIMATE LIFE, which are distributed to Costa Rica.

Dear Editor,
      You're probably aware that we colobus monkeys have sacchulated stomachs, like cows, and when we get gas, boy do we get gas!  What can we do to alleviate this nasty problem?

Dear 'Fred',
      We here at Primate Nooz have heard altogether too much about your fancy sacchulated stomachs, and frankly we're not impressed.  We suggest that you contact Dr. Doody.

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